Give My Life
by klcm
Summary: Garcia always stops her life to help Morgan and she never expects it to be returned but will he just do that without her asking?
1. Come To Blows

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing as per! =( BUT I get to give the people what they want this way!

-=-=-=-=-=-=- -=-=-=-=-=-=-**Chapter One**-=-=-=-=-=-=- -=-=-=-=-=-=-

The case had ended, it was over, another one signed off, another arrangement of families a member down, another bad guy gone from the world. However, it didn't give closure to those fighting.

Penelope knew that Derek was affected again, he always was, a child case always hit too close to home turf for his liking and only those within the team and the big bosses knew about his past and that was the way it would stay. So it was no surprise that, that night she would wait at home for them to go to their places before she would call Derek when he texted her with a heads up text he was home at last.

Kevin fidgeted, he knew what was coming and he almost exuded angst when her phone went off. "Morgan again?" He asked bitterly.

Penelope knew the drill by now, it was the same ol' same old. "Yeah, it got to us all."

"But of course, Morgan got it worse" He chortled sarcastically as his girlfriend stood up, huffing as she went. He listened to her as she rang him.

"You okay handsome?" She asked softly, her concern dripping from every note in the sentence. "Right, I'll be right there. Nonsense, I'm on my way." She put her phone down.

"Penny, you cannot seriously be running to him." Kevin asked her as he stood up and watched her pull on her shoes. "He's a grown man, one that gets any girl he wants and he goes for a taken one."

"Sexual gratification and a shoulder to cry on are two totally different things honey, you know that."

"Obviously not. I keep myself to one woman and you know I don't cry." He said as he bragged about it, Penelope rolled her eyes. He watched her proceed to leave and he watched in disbelief. "That's it then, no 'Kev you don't mind do you?' You just chuck your life away for that over grown doofus?"

"Calm it before I get home or don't be here at all." Penelope bit back, her tone saying she was not up for any of his pettiness because the truth was she was done with it.

* * *

Derek didn't want to believe he possessed a hold on Penelope, he just wanted someone to talk to and to ring his mom would not only cause her concern but would ruin her nerves altogether. With Penelope he could cry if he needed to, he could laugh if it was necessary, he could be him.

He loved his best friend but seeing her so happy with her relationship to Kevin made him happier. He wanted her to be happy, she deserved it but because she was in a steady relationship would never change how he felt for her and he would never lose his part in being a constant in her life. Best friend's didn't do that, they waited around for the shoe to finally drop in whatever area was causing a problem.

Hearing her voice was one thing that settled him, it had a calming effect on him, one he loved endlessly. He knew a few years back he would die if she was taken from him and he'd almost had to do that. He chose to keep that moment sacred in his heart; he chose to keep with him the feeling of dread of what life would be like had she really died that night. She would never know that but he would. It was reasons for that he ran to her, to make sure she was still around. Again it happened with a case a few weeks back, she'd witnessed a murder, almost because the next victim and he'd been stuck in a room with her. That wasn't the bad thing, the bad thing was the feeling of dread in his stomach that bubbled as he'd watched her all night to make sure she was safe.

He felt some ease come to him as there was a wrap on the door and her soft voice came through it alerting she was there.

He just opened the door to be pulled into her arms.

* * *

Kevin was still at her home when Penelope got back, it was rounding off to 2am, she was exhausted, physically, mentally and emotionally. She'd cried with him, she'd soothed him and she'd made sure he was 100% settled when she left.

Walking in she saw the aggression leaving Kevin's body and she let her shoulders slump. "I thought I said if you couldn't calm it to not be here when I got back?"

"Well I decided for once I was fed up for being put on the back burner."

"The back burner? Kevin I'm tired, I just want to sleep." She said exasperated as she made her way in but Kevin stood in her way. "Kevin..."

"If Morgan rang right now, you'd run around to him and make thing everything pretty again. Well for that reason we're doing this now." He watched her for a reaction. "I'm fed up of coming second to your team."

"You knew from day one how my life worked."

"Yeah two years ago, things progress and adapt."

"My family remain number one." That floored Kevin; he wasn't classed as her family? "You are my boyfriend, and as much as I love you, there's nothing keeping you here so either you love my way of life or hate it. That's your choice not mine."

"I've stuck around through whatever but _he_ calls and you run."

"You have no idea what made us like this do you? No clue whatsoever."

"Well clarify it for me."

"No." She stood defiant to her claim. "It's none of your business and I shouldn't have to."

"Just tell the guy you want to fuck him and make everyone's life a little bit easier eh?"

"Excuse me?"

"Word in the tech pool's always been how you fancy Agent Morgan. Then I got you." He could read the visible shock. "I thought I could change that."

"Something's aren't meant to be changed."

"Obviously not, thing is, there can't be anything in life that makes him so fucking important for you to just drop life with your boyfriend of two years. It's a case, he chose the job, like you did, you all live through the cases and still I have a hard time believing that the big strong womanizer has it worse."

"Some people handle things differently."

"It's Derek Morgan, Penelope! The man drops woman like he takes in air, he should be man enough to deal with a case, children or adults."

"He was abused as a child okay?" Penelope finally blew; she knew this chat was coming. "FYI Kevin, people grow up differently, not all of us had plush lifestyles like you with mommy and daddy giving us everything we wanted, as and when we wanted it. Some of us grew up in the bad areas of our towns and had unthinkable things happen to us. I vowed I would never tell a soul what happened to him but you, and you insensitivity, needed that! Satisfied?"

"Penny I didn't realise."

"No you didn't, you just never think do you?' She said her tone low and anger filled. "Get out Kevin, take your stuff and leave my apartment now. I've had enough of living through this relationship for the sake of it. Hoping one day it might resume its romance and happiness."

"Don't do this."

"I'm done Kevin, well and truly done." She told him, her tone was completely emotionless, she was certain this was the right choice.

"I hope you can live with losing your life to a man that'll never love you." Kevin said as he grabbed the majority of his things and left her alone in her apartment.

Penelope just stood there too exhausted to react in that moment.

She just hoped Derek would do for her what she so willingly did for him.

* * *

_**A.N:**_** This idea came to me when I was listening to a song, I was gonna use the lyrics but found a new idea that fitted better! ... This won't be that long of a story! That I can promise, maybe two/three chapts!**

**Lemme know what you think!**


	2. Tables Turn

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing as per! =( BUT I get to give the people what they want this way!

-=-=-=-=-=-=- -=-=-=-=-=-=-**Chapter Two**-=-=-=-=-=-=- -=-=-=-=-=-=-

Penelope had gotten to sleep, she didn't know how or when but she did. However, she woke up at a little before 5am and sleep didn't elude her again. Getting up, she knew the day was hers to do what she wanted so she got dressed and went to the diner that was now becoming hers and Derek's local, she knew it operated a 24 hour stop in and when she got there she sat in the corner, phone on table, coffee in hand, her emotions scattered everywhere.

It was now, in the solitary of a booth at the back of the diner that everything toppled her. The adrenaline she had kept high after the case to make sure that Derek was making it through okay was now draining from her system, Kevin's words hit her hard as her morale got lower and lower and she just kept her head down and tried her hardest to keep her tears in.

Every ounce of emotion that she had been driven into her core to never be seen again was now erupting in her and breaking her restraint. Emotions from cases gone were now attacking her, Battle plagued her again, a ghost she thought she'd truly moved on from, the Alaska case from a few weeks ago hit her final nerve and then Kevin finally took it all out of her.

"More coffee Pen?" The waitress, Marie, asked as she came over.

"Oh yeah, please." Penelope said and put her cup out without looking up.

"It's not worth crying over spilt milk ya know?"

"I wish it was only split milk."

"It'll get better." She told Penelope as she finally looked up, Marie just smiled. "You need a chat you know where to find me."

"Thanks." Penelope said quietly and looked back at that table top. She just remained sitting there as she every little detail she thought she'd moved on from by helping Derek hadn't really gone, it had just manifested in her, waiting for its time to knock her down.

She knew that Kevin was right, she'd just thrown away her life for Derek Morgan, a woman's man, a Casanova, a man that loved his girls thin and beautiful. Not like her, never like her. That cracked her heart even more, the butterfly stitches that had kept her heart together safely were now pulling away and she felt like she'd lost herself in the world for that moment.

* * *

Derek got up earlier that morning, edging past 6 he couldn't sleep any longer, he was amazed he got 4 hours and he had to smile, his best friend had saved him from himself again and he couldn't be more than grateful. She never asked for anything in return for the amount of times she'd run to him and helped him and he knew if she needed it he would help.

He could feel the emotions of the case, that he knew would be with him until new memories of a new case would replace them. Until then he'd bid his time with the peace he had in between.

He got dressed and headed out; he didn't want to eat at his on his own, so he headed to the diner that was near enough a midpoint between his and Penelope's places. He loved this place, he had memories with Pen from here but today, like many before, he was coming here alone because Penelope would be wrapped up in bed with her boyfriend and so she should be. She should be wrapped up in the arms of her lover, safe and protected.

He got there and sat in one of the stalls, his mind was elsewhere, not on the few punters already getting an early breakfast before work. Marie came over and smiled at him. "Normal please."

"I'll bring it over."

"I'll stick here Marie." He said with a smile, Marie smiled sadly and then pointed with her head to the booths at the back as she poured him a cup of coffee. Penelope was sat in the booth, shaded from the blind that was still down, her right hand shielding her from anyone that looked up, her posture worn down and broken.

"She's been here for nearly an hour, hasn't stopped crying since."

"Bring us over some chocolate chip pancakes in about 20 min kay?"

"Got it Derek, just get over there. She's miserable, it's not a good sight."

Derek smiled some and his heart clenched in his chest. "I'm on it." Then like that, she watched slip down from the stall and go over to the booth. "Well if it isn't my sexy mama out and about before the clock strikes 7am... your beauty sleep's gonna lose its routine." He teased as he slipped down onto the seat opposite her.

He could see her wipe her cheeks and look up, she smiled at him somewhat shortened, it was a facade. "Couldn't sleep very well." She feigned and he leant forward and grabbed her hands. The feel of his touch shattered a bit more, this would be the most she'd ever get and again Kevin's words beat at her over and over again.

"What's wrong baby girl? And don't tell me it's nothing because your eyes tell me a whole different story." He watched her breathe out lengthily. "Well..."

"Where do I start?"

"Beginning's always a good place baby." He told her and she couldn't help but let a little laugh out.

"Everything's just attacking me at the moment and I don't have the energy to keep up the strong act."

"No one asked you too."

"I asked me too." She confessed and looked down, Derek squeezed her hand and she looked back up.

"Keep looking at me and tell me what's got you in tears."

"I guess I bottle everything and last night, before I came to you, I had an argument with Kevin, then when I got back." She saw the guilt scrawl across Derek's features. "It's the same old chestnut every single time." She shrugged; she'd never regret choosing family over a man. "I don't have to worry anymore I guess."

Derek's heart leapt at that little sentence. "He dumped you."

"Yes, no, I don't know." Derek felt devastated by that, he saw a chance but it might be crushed the moment he got it. "He took some of his things and left me alone and things have only hit me." She took her hands back and run them over her head. "I don't want to be in a never ending argument to get happy."

"Then you don't have to be. Be with someone that's going to keep you happy."

"Not gonna happen Hot Stuff." She said and looked up at him. "And today I can't shake images from the cases."

"One we've just done."

"More than that. I guess I put on this whole show to make sure everyone's okay and I lose myself in amongst it all." Again she could read the guilt. "Don't blame yourself handsome, I choose to do it. It just hasn't helped."

"I hate you being so sad."

"It'll pass."

"When you've talked it out." He said and took her hands again. "So talk it out."

"I don't know how to." She confessed, she didn't want to tell him because the biggest affecting moments of her professional career involved him. "It'll change things."

"Try me."

She sighed and felt nervous. "When Battle shot me I remember being so scared at how close I was to death and how in a heartbeat I could just leave this world." She said and Derek felt a surge of emotion over take him. "I'm scared of death and each and every case instils that in me, it hardens that fact. I've come so close to losing you so many times and all without you knowing things I keep secret and in Alaska after I tried to help that man I've been putting the strain on my relationship with Kevin." She looked up and could see him frozen, he didn't say a thing, he looked, if anything, ready to bolt and she could feel the tears building in her throat. "I told you this was wrong."

Derek watched as one moment she was there and the next she was up and leaving, he followed her, telling Marie he'd be back. "Penelope." He called out. "Pump those breaks a moment woman."

He followed her as she watched towards Ester, berating herself. "I've said too much."

"You get in that car and I'll stop talking to you." He knew that'd put the fear of Christ up her because he knew if she was like him the thought of not having the other speak to them was scary. "Tell me it all."

"I've thrown my life away time after time for a man that'll never love me the way I love him. That's how Kevin gave it to me, I drop my life for him and all because I love him and he never so much as makes a pass at me." Derek stood there, his heart pounding at her admittance. "See! It changes it. It changes us." She said a little too loud because she knew he understood who she was talking about.

Derek didn't hesitate as she turned back to pull her car door open, he pulled her close to her body and kissed her hard, making it evident what he wanted, telling her completely she wasn't wrong, that she wasn't giving up life for a man that would never love her.

"I'll always love you." He told her and Penelope stared up at him, completely dazed at everything, she was still on the come down from the dizzying explosion that had erupted in her life. "Now come on Silly Girl, we gotta talk and eat pancakes." He told her and shut her car door, locked it and then took her back into the diner and back to the booth they were sat at.

* * *

_**A.N: Thanks for all the reviews! Means a lot! Hope you enjoy this chapter! Only one more after this!**_


	3. Showing You How To Not Regret

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing as per! =( BUT I get to give the people what they want this way!

-=-=-=-=-=-=- -=-=-=-=-=-=-**Chapter Three**-=-=-=-=-=-=- -=-=-=-=-=-=-

Derek watched Penelope as she pushed the food around her plate, they usually shared a healthy appetite of food, sharing as and when they could, telling one another where good restaurants were, what was good on a menu, having the same favourites. However this morning he was eating down their favourite breakfast while she'd taken a couple of bites and gave up.

"It's not gonna get eaten that way." He said forgetting about his breakfast and leaning a little.

"I guess I'm not that hungry." She said and looked up at him, a glint in her eye. "Not for this anyway."

He laughed at that. "Well we can blow this off and feed that hunger." He saw the doubt in her eyes. "I've dreamt of getting you how I want you baby girl, fantasies hurt because they're not real." He grabbed her hand. "You're real, your love is real, don't doubt that and don't ever doubt me."

"I just don't want this end us and Kevin to be right."

"Kevin isn't right." Derek enforced forcefully and Penelope could tell from the confidence in his voice. "We can wait, wait until Kevin's finally packed up and out the door for good, we can wait until you're fully ready, we can wait until you're back to you. But whatever happens I'll wait."

Penelope smiled and tilted her head some to look at him adoringly. "Hmm and what if I don't want to wait because I've been ready longer than even I thought?"

"You quite cute when you're making up logic." Derek commented and pushed his plate completely out of the way and leant across the table. "Well if that is the case baby girl, then how can I fall behind in a race?"

"Oh, we're in a race now are we handsome?" She asked smiling at him teasingly. "Does that mean I call the rules as I make them?"

Derek scrunched his nose at that and looked down before catching her eye contact again. "Na uh baby girl, I've been saving this moment and I'm going to show you what's been waiting around for a very, _very_ long time." He watched her gulp at that statement. "I'm going to show you for the rest of your baby girl life just how short Kevin Lynch was coming in making you the happiest woman this world has ever seen." Penelope's mind drew in the certainty of his voice and she could feel her yearn for him escalate ever more. "I'm gonna make you touch the stars baby, and I'm gonna make..."

Penelope pushed her index finger to his lips to stop him. "You've sweet talked your way enough hot stuff." She said as she leant forward. "Don't be all talk." Derek winked at her and then took her finger in his mouth before sucking on it and pulling away.

"I'll show you talk in practice." He told her, his eyes brightening predatorily, he could feel the hard on he had and he could see how uncomfortable Penelope was getting at sitting and procrastinating. "Let's start this. I want my life with my baby girl to start properly from here on out."

"Why you still sitting around then sugar?" She asked him back and he laughed and threw money down on the table before sliding out of the booth, taking her hand and leaving.

Marie watching them as they went, she smiled at the sight that left and she knew she'd have to share with the others that were familiar with Derek Morgan and Penelope Garcia's usual table manners.

"What if Kevin comes back?" Penelope fretted the moment their feet hit the gravel outside the diner. "He's gonna come back. He's done it before."

Derek felt his heart bottom in that instance. "Done it before?" He asked a little grief stricken.

"This isn't the first time me and Kevin have broken up, but for once I'm gonna be the stronger one and keep it that way." Penelope told him and she could read him like an open book so she turned and took his hand because right in that moment she meant business. "I don't need to keep fighting for happiness with him because it is never gonna happen Handsome. I just need to know that'll your fight to help me get the happiness."

Derek let out a low growl then, a sensual noise not an angry one. "For the rest of my life."

"Says it all... Meet at mine?"

"I always did wonder what making love behind those beads would be like." He watched Penelope's cheeks flush with colour. "I'm not kidding P, you wanna wait, I'll wait but one way or the other you will be mine."

"Just meet me at mine you chocolate God you."

"Already half way there." He said and he took her in his arms again, showing his power, he then captured her lips and kissed her fiercely, again the dizziness returned as he put her back and her feet began to touch down on the ground again. He then put her in her car with one final kiss and she waited for him to follow her back to hers.

Penelope parked up and got out; she got her bag and locked the car. "Penny." Her voice being called made her jump and she looked up to see Kevin there, slowly approaching her, anxiety radiating from him in pulsating vibes. "I'm sorry."

"I can't forgive and forget any more Kevin." She admitted truthfully, she knew Derek was a little further behind, he got caught in a red light and she'd had to keep going.

"I'm not expecting you to, I just, I love you too much to let last night ruin us."

"Last night didn't ruin us Kevin." Kevin's face lit up a little at that. "We ruined us a long time ago and we've been biding our time with this." Penelope was hoping that Derek would've gotten there by now, been her excuse to finish this but little did she know he was waiting for his perfect opportunity to crash Kevin's attempt at winning Penelope back.

"I was wrong, completely out of line."

"Kevin I really can't keep us going, I'm losing myself in it and I've got to make myself a priority. That and what makes me happy."

"Your family right?"

Yeah."

"And Morgan... he makes you happier." Kevin told her and his tone became heated at the topic that they'd gotten onto. "You run to him last night? He allow you to cry to him like he cries to you or is all still pretty much one sided?"

"Don't you dare..."

"I just wanna know Penelope; you spend so much of your time catering for everyone else's needs, needs that never get repaid, don't you ever wonder your place in their lives? And you gave up the fight for us last night because of Morgan."

"I gave up the fight of us because you, not Morgan, or the team but because of you and your attitude."

"Well I might as well reiterate what I told you. I hope you're happy throwing your life away for a man that'll never love a woman like you." He didn't take notice of Penelope's fallen expression, the pain that built in her eyes. "I mean, stick thin model types that can bump 'n' grind just like he does. One's that would fuck him dry and leave him the next morning. That's not you Penelope."

Derek turned around the corner then, he hadn't liked the way that conversation was given and Penelope's silence told him even more than he heard that Kevin was out of line. "Hey Lynch." Derek said casually as he walked up the drive in the parking lot, he felt anger flare in him at Penelope's down trodden posture that had been nowhere near that when he left her with a kiss earlier. He saw Kevin shift his weight, nerves doubling up. "You're right Penelope's not my normal type. She's my perfect type." He said and ran his hands around Penelope's waist, pulling her closer to him. "She's got curves, a smile, live wire eyes, and personality to fit it all together. I definitely won't be leaving her the next morning or the morning after that or the morning after that or the morning after in 40 years to come."

"You're all talk." Kevin blurted out trying to think of come backs.

"Hmm that's what you think." Derek said and turned Penelope in his arms, he could see the seed of doubt and he smirked. "Baby girl." He said and Penelope looked up just as Derek put a hand in her hand and took her lips with his and deepened the kiss, this time he didn't let up, he gave it as good as he could then.

Kevin stood on the sidelines and watched, he'd never ever kissed Penelope like, not because he didn't want to but because he didn't know how to and he supposed he would've known instinctively had Penelope been his girl that he'd make a life with. He didn't waste his time after that. "Post my stuff Penelope; I'll do the same with your things." He then stomped off and got into his car and drove off like a true loser.

Derek pulled away once he heard the car disappear and he smiled as Penelope's lips remained still posed ready for a kiss and her eyes stayed closed, after a couple of seconds she opened them and her lips pursed together and she looked up at him. "I'd do that again."

Penelope smiled again and felt equal satisfaction. "I think I would too hot stuff." She agreed and looked around the parking lot. "I don't think I'll ever regret giving up my life for you."

"I could say the same for your baby girl but I suppose I've never truly stopped my life to help you out as often as you do for me."

"Now is enough." She told him truthfully. "I just think I need the proof to back up that I haven't completely lost my mind with trusting you with my heart my chocolate hunk of love."

"Well let's go up and make that perfect blend of chocolate and vanilla and allow me to make you release that you trusting me with your heart was the best deal you could've done." He said and stole a kiss before proceeding to take her towards the door to go upstairs.

It was as Penelope was pushed onto her bed and Derek ravished her with kissed and began to make love that she knew she had never truly known love until that day and she had the rest of her life to bask in it and that would be what she would do.

**-=-=-=-=-=-=-THE END-=-=-=-=-=-=-**

_**A.N:**_** There you have it guys! The End!**

**Thanks for all the reviews! That was a massive boost that happened! =)**

**Hope you enjoyed it! **


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